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In a civilized society, violence is rarely the answer. But when it is-it's the only answer. The sound of breaking glass downstairs in the middle of the night. The words, "Move and you die." The hands on your child, or the knife to your throat. In this essential book, self-protection expert and former military intelligence officer Tim Larkin changes the way we think aboutIn a civilized society, violence is rarely the answer. But when it is-it's the only answer. The sound of breaking glass downstairs in the middle of the night. The words, "Move and you die." The hands on your child, or the knife to your throat. In this essential book, self-protection expert and former military intelligence officer Tim Larkin changes the way we think about violence in order to save our lives. By deconstructing our assumptions about violence-its morality, its function in modern society, how it actually works-Larkin unlocks the shackles of our own taboos and arms us with what we need to know to prevent, prepare for, and survive the unthinkable event of life-or-death violence. Through a series of harrowing true-life stories, Larkin demonstrates that violence is a tool equally effective in the hands of the "bad guy" or the "good guy"; that the person who acts first, fastest and with the full force of their body is the one who survives; and that each and every one of us is capable of being that person when our lives are at stake. An indispensable resource, When Violence is the Answer will remain with you long after you've finished reading, as the bedrock of your self-protection skills and knowledge. ...

Title : When Violence Is the Answer: Learning How to Do What It Takes When Your Life Is at Stake
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780316354646
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 304 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

When Violence Is the Answer: Learning How to Do What It Takes When Your Life Is at Stake Reviews

  • Linda
    2019-06-11 10:53

    An excellent book! I took a chance on this one because Gavin De Becker, author of "The Gift of Fear" and other books wrote the front cover blurb. I reread De Becker at least once a year. I can recall two instances where trusting my sense of fear kept me out of trouble.This book builds on the foundation of recognizing when other people mean you harm and goes into detail about what it really means to have to make the choice to defend yourself. The author spends a lot of pages explaining the difference between social aggression and real violence. I found the first section fascinating. I learned a lot about how to read (typically) male posturing and fighting. Then I was introduced to serious asocial, criminal violence.Knowing the difference is key to understanding when responding with violence is necessary to defend my own life or that of others.Mind you, Larkin never suggests that we resort to violence except in those rare instances when no other response will be sufficient to avert our annihilation. He describes the mindset one needs to develop in order to successfully defend ourselves - a halfhearted defense in hopes that the bad guy will decide to leave us alone is no help at all. One must be committed to do all that is necessary to stop the bad guy - even to the point of disabling him. Once you start to defend yourself it's important to commit to stopping the aggressor, no matter what it takes.The second part is devoted to learning how to disable someone when it is required. There's some awfully good information in this section. But study the first part, too. That's where the real meat of this book is. I highly recommend it, and will add it to my shelf of "must revisit annually" books, right alongside De Becker.

  • Michelle
    2019-06-10 04:56

    This isn't going to teach you how to defend yourself. You should take a self defense class for that. However, it will, perhaps, teach you a new way to look at violence, teach you a way to place yourself in the correct state of mind to be able to defend yourself. It might also show you how to distinguish between those situation where violence can be avoided and those where your only choice is whether or not to be a victim.My biggest concern is that the people who most need to understand this are also least likely to read it.I received a complimentary copy of this book via a Goodreads Giveaway. Many thanks to all involved for this opportunity.

  • Marsha
    2019-06-08 09:04

    This book should be read by everyone, especially women. It will make you uncomfortable because it will force you to think of scenarios when you could be killed, but if you don't think of these scenarios how can you ever prepare for them. It's basically a guide to think like a criminal. Good for research (I'm a writer) but also essential as a human who can at any time be attacked by another human. Thank you, Netgalley, for the e-review edition of this book.

  • Christopher Lawson
    2019-05-31 08:47

    Violence Is Rarely The Answer, But When It Is, It’s The Only AnswerIn WHEN VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER, Tim Larkin aims to change our view of violence, and explain what we can do about it. The key is the right mindset + the right training. The author makes it clear that one must undergo specific, skilled training to really be handle a violent attack. It’s not enough to just “sort of” have an idea of how to respond; rather, your response must be automatic. It’s about turning your brain into the “ultimate concealed carry.”The author includes lots of stories about ordinary people who were trained to use these principles. Of special note is the surgeon who was attacked on his way to the hospital. The doctor saw what was happening, he knocked out his attacker, then ran in to perform the surgery. The author notes the reason the doctor was successful was because he didn’t have to think. He was “trained in targets and the tool of violence.”Tim makes a crucial distinction between “Social Aggression” and “Asocial Violence.” The first is about competition; the second is about someone committing destruction. So, if we are faced with merely aggression, one should try to avoid it, rather than escalate it. On the other hand, faced with violence, our response must be instinctive and fast. The author calls this “intent.” The point is to disable your opponent first. It’s a tie until the first big injury, so one must be ready to “use the very same tool of violence that your adversary wants to use against you.” Keep in mind that this book is not intended to be a substitute for training. Tom emphasizes the importance of through training, so that you will not hesitate when your life is in danger. In particular, practice must be slow and deep so that you can act without hesitation. “So all in all, I found WHEN VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER to be a good introduction to this subject. The author writes clearly and I found the book easy to follow. It’s not too gory, but the anecdotes do relate quite a violent incidents. I was encouraged by the numerous examples of normal folks who successfully protected themselves when they had to.Advance Review copy courtesy of the publisher.

  • Marcella Wigg
    2019-06-09 08:38

    Few normal people perceive themselves as being a potential victim of violence, especially the type of asocial violence we read about with horror in newspapers. But, Larkin argues, if we find ourselves the targets of such violence, we must be prepared to respond with violence ourselves. We must combat our natural instinct not to resist when faced with true asocial violence in order to survive. Simultaneously we must learn to recognize social violence and avoid it whenever we can, even if it involves losing face.This book is very unsettling, which is exactly its intention. Few law-abiding citizens can visualize themselves in situations where they need to deliberately inflict violence, even when it's to save their own lives. However, Larkin points out that while any individual is unlikely to use self-defense techniques to inflict serious harm and prevent the continuation of asocial violence, given the stakes in such a situation, it would be unwise not to prepare for such a scenario should it occur. Most of the concepts he covers are pretty fundamental and unsurprising, really: often, truly dangerous violent people aren't the biggest or the fastest to posture; many social-based fights can be avoided if one diffuses situations at the expense of ego; one needs to react with speed to counter asocial violence with self-defense violence; more law-abiding citizens are hurt by attackers than attackers by law-abiding citizens fighting back; and even the most practiced self-defense expert may not be able to predict a variety of complicating factors (rage, weapons, accomplices) that might turn a situation against them. Larking uses a lot of real-world examples to show you that an instantaneous decision--whether to injure an attacker or not--can prove absolutely critical to survival in cases of asocial violence.Ultimately, no book will teach you self-defense. You could read all day about Larkin's analysis of bodies most vulnerable points and still not be able to put those ideas into practice when faced with a situation that demands it. But at least considering the possibility of violence as a means of self-defense, even when one does not have a convenient weapon to make such injury more impersonal, is important for self-defense. Most of the case examples discussed here are stranger-on-stranger violence; I wish that this book discussed domestic violence as well. But I still think that the principles he lays out here are important.

  • Travis Tucker
    2019-05-20 04:39

    A good introduction to make one think about what they would / should do in a life or death violent situation. The book differentiated the difference between social and asocial violence - an important distinction I hadn't properly considered previously. The only part of the book that I glossed over was how to actually attack, it's the type of material where reading it doesn't translate into being able to physically perform. I would look to an instructor-led class for learning that.As the author repeats, I hope to never have to use any of the insight gleaned in the book, but will be glad I read the book if a situation does occur.

  • Thad Forester
    2019-06-15 07:57

    I'm a big fan of Tim Larkin and this was another useful book. He does a good job preparing everyone how to handle violence, but only when it's necessary to save your life. Well done Tim.

  • Maria
    2019-06-14 07:03

    What I loved most about this book is the way I view violence. The author, Tim Larkin, is completely correct in his view that violence is a tool, nothing more, just like a gun or knife or hammer. It can be used for good or bad depending on the person using it. As we change this mindset and receive the proper training to inflict injury if we find ourselves in an asocial violent situation, we will have the advantage to live another day. The most interesting chapters to me were the ones that talked about how prisoners in jail learn about the human anatomy so they can inflict deadly injury. It explains the difference between pain and injury and why injury is the objective. Everyone should read this book!

  • Dennis
    2019-05-29 07:42

    Truth is found in this bookTim Larkin does a great job analyzing and dissecting a topic which is controversial to most people. He clearly and professionally describes, in detail, the tool of violence and the differences of when you should utilize this tool. A great book for everyone and anyone who wants to fully understand self-defense and self-protection

  • David
    2019-05-18 10:56

    So much good stuff in this book. Good in the sense of vital information, not good in terms of happy and funny. Ever since I heard the phrase, Violence is Golden, I thought I'd found the counterpoint to the doctrine of non-violence that I had studied in my younger years, but always came away from with the question of... can this really work? This book goes further into the statement the author makes in the very first sentence of the book, "Violence is rarely the answer, but when it is, it is the only answer." And he proceeds to break down what he means by that statement. As for myself, I agree. And I think anyone who wants to understand the distinction made between social aggression and asocial violence, and question their own assumptions about whether violence is inherently good or bad, should read the first part of this book. Part 1 gets into the philosophy behind it, the mindset, the arguments. Part 2 gets into mechanics of self defense when confronted by asocial violence, and while I appreciated that to some extent, I also felt it was harder to get into. That said, Part 1 is so significant in my mind, that I still feel the book is amazing. If for nothing else, the close and careful analysis of the distinction between social aggression and asocial violence is vitally important to life in our society. Moreover, the author makes careful note that social aggression is not the same thing as asocial violence and also provides suggestions and analysis of how to de-escalate social aggression so that it does not lead to asocial violence, as well as simple, practical ways to think about protecting against encountering asocial violence, though of course, nothing is assured.For anyone who does not believe that our social order is entirely based upon the threat of violence, this book will be hard for them to take in. That does not change my opinion of its worth, only of the difficulty that some may have in reading it.

  • ybk
    2019-05-19 05:39

    In general I'd like to read books with no BS. If a books talk about the principle of a thing, that book has no BS. When Violence is the Answer is that kind of the book. First the author makes me rewire with the violence. This is a just tool and there is no "good" or "bad" attached to it. Second the author clearly distinguishes the "social" agression and the asocial violence and it is the latter situation when violence is the only answer. Third my asocial enemy will attack me with a very clear intent and I shoud remain in Cause State and put my enemy into Effect State. What's the intent in violence? Inflicting injury. On and on.No fantasy but reality of the violence so I can always try to deescalate the social aggression (not worth it) and prepare a life-or-death situation, even though it'd be very rare in this modernized sotiety.For the practice part, the author also states why slow but precision is the key to master. I just want to quote from a part of stories which the author borrows from the other book (Talent Code)."If a teacher walked by a practicing violin student and they could recognize what was being played, that meant the student was playing too fast. Each stroke had to be excruciatingly slow, because what they were asking students to work on wasn't perfecting particular pieces, but rather ingraining the habits of perfect form with the bow and fingers, understanding that it was much easier to speed up habits learned slowly than to correct for bad form learned too fast."

  • Brooks
    2019-06-07 05:59

    Saw the title and it drew me in. Written by former Navy Seal/self-defense instructor. The basic concept is that there are two types of violence: social and asocial. Social is the typical bar fight or bullying. While it can lead to serious injury, it is really about social hierarchy or theft and rarely about permanent injury. It can be avoided, de-escalated, or appeased. Asocial is terrorism, Columbine violence, and rape. There is no avoiding. So, this is the premise – to deal with asocial violence, you must be ready to strike first and cause catastrophic injury. The second half is about how and where to strike and getting mentally prepared to do that. While there was a chapter on avoiding violence, it was chilling to read this book. It is based on a world view of fear. As the author repeats, he believes every stranger could be 6 seconds from shooting him. While that is the author’s reason for being polite to everyone, it just seems a world view as bad as the fearful victim who fears strangers. I would rather take the risk of a sucker punch and being open to a hug from a stranger. From a self-defense perspective, take a class. It really can not be learned by reading a book.

  • Brian
    2019-06-12 05:38

    I would advise everyone to read this. You may think you are tough and can handle yourself in a fight, but can you handle someone who is mentally prepared to kill you. The book sets about describing the different types of violence, the appropriate mind set, and target points to attack. Mentally you must be prepared ahead of time, prepared to respond with violence that will not just daze your attacker but rather inflict trauma. I'm a former Marine and have a different mind set than most, this book reoriented me to a more appropriate mind set when faced with a life and death situation. I will certainly avoid altercation most times, its not worth the myriad of horrible outcomes, but if what is about to happen looks life threatening, I need to be ready with a plan that won't be fool hardy. I'm glad I read this book, I hope men and women will do themselves a favor and started thinking and planning just in case that day ever comes. I hate violence really, but life is too precious to give it over without a fight.

  • Matt
    2019-05-26 06:07

    I'm not an inherently violent person. I took time, when I was younger, to train in martial arts as well as boxing but I have always attempted to avoid violent conflict whenever I could. After becoming a dad, I decided that it was probably in my best interest to seek out some more information on violence considering it plays a role in almost every young boy's life.Several people recommended Tim Larkin's book to me and I wouldn't say it's a book for everyone, but it is definitely a book for anyone who wants to be better equipped to have conversations about violence with their children.Tim Larkin does an excellent job of discussing violence for what it is, an action that isn't inherently moral or immoral. He discusses the consequences you must be ready for if you choose to use violence, and he discusses the times you have to be ready to use violence to defend yourself or others. This book is definitely worth a read.

  • William Puddy
    2019-05-20 03:45

    Absolutely outstanding. Very clear, concise, balanced and yet extremely thorough. Provides simple principles one must internalize to get over one's natural reluctance to inflict serious harm on another, even if it is an asocial psychopath bent on your destruction. This book provides the "what do I do to defend my life?" answers when confronted with the type of killers that Dave Grossman has described in great detail in "On Combat" and "On Killing." I found both authors supplement each other exceptionally well.

  • Jill Brown
    2019-06-10 10:45

    I really liked this book. It seems like an odd book to like but it was interesting to think about the mindset that is required in situations where you really need to defend yourselves and your family. I have used some of his ideas to help me get in a good mindset for sparring (not to inflict pain on another person but just to be able to fight and defend in the right situations). I think we all sit in a mindset of a victum and not wanting to hurt another person which is good but it is good to know how to switch that mindset if the situation calls for it.

  • Robert W. Edwards
    2019-06-13 04:55

    I AgreeI live in the real world, not Hollywood's idea of the real. I'm old and fat, but what was written in this outstanding book made me realize I still had a chance in a fight for my life that I couldn't avoid. I agree wholeheartedly agree with his phylosphy on violence; avoid it if possible, but be prepared to win if needed. To quote a movie, "Get Midevil". Recommended, to all.

  • Chris Piehota
    2019-05-25 06:49

    Book was good. Worth reading to better understand the nature of Interpersonal violence.This was a good book at the beginning but ran out of gas. I liked the discussion about violence between people and how to read certain situations. As the author notes, this is not a book about the technical aspects of fighting but, rather, a summary of concepts that can be used to inform those parties who may encounter violence on action.

  • Robin
    2019-05-27 02:39

    Principle-based actions for life when death threatensPurposeful principles for practicing peace after clearly understanding the difference between asocial violence and social aggression and subsequently owning one's capacity for rapid and wise determination of when to de-escalate or when to employ life-saving effective violence.

  • Dave
    2019-06-10 04:42

    There was a lot of "why", a fair amount of "what", and the book convinced me that I'll need professional training for the "how". The book doesn't advocate martial arts training and I'm not a martial arts expert, and I understand the point of shortfalls of martial arts but it convinced me that either martial arts or self defense training from a professional is needed to execute this philosophy.

  • Jeff Silvester
    2019-05-27 09:59

    If ever you think you want to be able to defend yourself. this is the book that puts you in the mindset to be able to protect yourself. It's not an argument for violence. It is simply an acknowledgement that real self defense will include violence and you need to be mentally prepared for that. Great read.

  • Jenn
    2019-05-28 04:47

    I won a copy of this book.There may be times in life where you need to defend yourself. This is a good book to pick up, so that you can prepare yourself for that moment (whether or not you ever have that moment). I'm glad I've read this book and plan to recommend it to my friends and family.

  • Pamela Ferguson
    2019-05-19 03:52

    This was a compelling read, so much information I had never really considered before. I highly recommend it.“I don’t even call it violence when it’s in self defense, I call it intelligence.” - Malcolm X

  • Katie Bruell
    2019-06-10 11:03

    This was an extremely thought-provoking and useful book.

  • Nora
    2019-06-16 11:07


  • Nicky Billou
    2019-06-08 03:02

    This is an important book, when that every law-abiding person should read and absorb its lessons. The unthinkable can happen, and the Boy Scout motto applies; be prepared.

  • Steve
    2019-06-02 10:46

    Informative. Makes one appreciate what they can do in an asocial life-threatening situation, and how to tell the difference of social and asocial situations.