Read my point and i do have one by Ellen DeGeneres Online

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In this #1 New York Times bestseller, Ellen DeGeneres shares her hilarious take on everything from our most baffling human foibles–including how we behave in elevators, airplanes, and restrooms, and why we’re so scared of the boogeyman–to fashion trends, celebrity, and her secret recipe for Ellen’s Real Frenchy French Toast. Most of all, this witty, engaging book offers inIn this #1 New York Times bestseller, Ellen DeGeneres shares her hilarious take on everything from our most baffling human foibles–including how we behave in elevators, airplanes, and restrooms, and why we’re so scared of the boogeyman–to fashion trends, celebrity, and her secret recipe for Ellen’s Real Frenchy French Toast. Most of all, this witty, engaging book offers insights into the mind of one of America’s most beloved comics.…Dear Reader,I was awfully excited when I was asked to write a book. I was however, nervous. I was afraid I didn’t have anything important to say. But when I began writing, I realized that although I don’t know a lot about any one thing, I know a little about a whole bunch of things: baking a pie; dancing; curing the common cold; running the Iditarod–it’s all in the book. And I realized I notice things that maybe some people don’t notice (or they don’t notice that they don’t notice). That’s all in the book, too.From the Trade Paperback edition....

Title : my point and i do have one
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 11643539
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 224 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

my point and i do have one Reviews

  • Khadidja
    2019-03-16 19:43

    one of the funniest books i ve ever read ! i love Ellen so much she is a great human being and funny i loved her books so much and this one is my favorite “That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it.”i had so many "funny monents that left me laughing out loud :p" LOVE YOU ELLEN :D Was I good at anything?Athletics, I suppose. You were on the tennis team. And you started the girls golf team. You were the only one on the team, playing every day by yourself. You would whack the ball very aggressively then acknowledge the applause of a crowd that only existed in your mind. Very strange and more than slightly disturbing.

  • Stacie
    2019-03-02 22:47

    I found this book extremely hard to get through. I love Ellen, and her brand of humor. Why did I dislike the book so much? Well, I finished reading the book yesterday. Except if you can't see the date, then you might think today is yesterday, which it may have well been depending on when you read this review. But if you read the review a year from now, then me saying I read it yesterday will be irrelevant. But if you read this review today, then it can be accurately concluded that it was really truly yesterday that I finished reading the book. Cover to cover. But if you didn't get a copy of the book with a cover on it, you will have no idea what I am talking about. Like if your dog ate it or you happen to buy a book at a bookstore for cheap because it doesn't have a cover on it. And in that case, I hope the bookstore guy sold it at half price, because it would really stink to buy a book without a cover and not know what it is until you get it home. (get my drift? thats almost the entire book. I love her act in person, but I expected to learn a little bit more about her than I did by reading the book.)

  • khveronika
    2019-02-26 18:57

    I would have loved to give this book at least 2 stars, just because it's Ellen & I love her so much!! But no, that's totally out of the question :/ I guess Ellen developed her "sense of humour" throughout the years as this book was written in 1995 & I found it hardly entertaining. I had to chuckle a few times but that's pretty much it. It's even impossible to sum it up as it's a collection of stories about nothing & everything. They are supposed to be funny situations out of Ellen's life but the whole thing is just too pointless & too confusing to be enjoyable. The running gag here is Ellen's commentary on how she has to write this book consisting of at least 60,000 words to satisfy her lawyers & how hard writing was for her at times. Well, that actually comes off more as reality than a joke. It does seem like some chapters were written simply to fill up space.Unfortunately, it has been disappointing all in all & I wouldn't really recommend the book :( Let's see what her latest one is like!

  • Učitaj se!
    2019-03-07 20:03

    Simpatična, full duhovita i zabavna knjiga... baš kao Ellen.

  • Robyn
    2019-03-15 14:58

    I respect Ellen DeGeneres as a person and I enjoy her comedy. This book, however, was not a great idea. I went to the library for her latest, Seriously...I'm Kidding, and figured I'd pick up her others at the same time. Unfortunately, her comedy relies a lot on inflection, timing, and facial expressions. These are things that do not translate to print. She even says as much when she explains why she's not including her signature Phone Call To God bit. Here are two examples to show exactly how the comedy doesn't translate: "I've got to relax somehow. Why didn't I think of this sooner? I'll recline my seat. Oh, that makes all the difference. That 3/4 of an inch between upright and reclined is the difference between agony and ecstasy. I never thought 3/4 of an inch could mean so much. Now I can sleep. When I get home, I'm going to put some gizmo in my chairs so that they go back 3/4 of an inch, too. I wouldn't overdo it like the guy sitting in front of me. His seat goes so far back that his head is practically in my lap. I can pretty much read his newspaper. I'd better not get too comfortable in my 3/4 of an inch recline because toward the end of the flight, the flight attendant is going to say, 'You're going to have to put your seat in the upright position for landing.' They're so adamant about that every single time, like that's gonna make a difference. Because if we crash, the investigators are going to say, 'Oh, that's a shame, her seat was reclined 3/4 of an inch. When will they learn? What was that--thirty thousand feet? She could have made that. Sheesh. If only she'd been upright.'"Watch: http://youtu.be/k3KvWVU-WgU"Just last week I was driving when I saw this skinny looking stray dog out on the street. So I stopped, got out, and tried to coax the dog into my car so that I could take it to a rescue shelter. All these people on the street were staring at me like I was crazy. Well, I'm kind of used to that, so I continued, 'Here boy, here Scrappy.' When I don't know an animal's name, I always assume that it's Scrappy--even though I've never been right. Then I saw why people were staring at me. It wasn't a dog, it was a coyote (who oddly enough was called Scrappy). I can only imagine what a disaster it would have been if I had gotten the coyote into my car."Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUjL_F...Ellen's comedy is often a matter of making a statement that's somewhat funny, then adding what seems to be a throwaway qualifying statement that is both funnier than the first and makes the first funnier in itself. Much of this is done through volume and facial changes. She says the first statement loudly and clearly while looking directly at the audience or camera, then follows it by looking to one side or down and adding something else more quickly and quieter. Those things cannot be done in text. If you're still not sure whether or not the book is for you, go to a bookstore or library (or even the Google Books Preview, search for the word "Spoogy" or the phrase "ipso facto") and read the chapter titled "Ask Ellen" (page 157 in the hardcover). If you find it funny, go for it. If you don't, it's best to put the book back on the shelf.

  • Teagan Cantle
    2019-02-18 20:51

    Why i decided To read this book?i decided to read ellen degeneres my point...and do i have on because i read her seriously im kidding and really liked it, so i ordered this online and read it :) although it was still good it wasnt as good as the first oneWhich category on the bingo board does this cover?i decided to put this in 'My own choice', Mainly because it doesnt cover anything but autobiography and i have already used that,my favourite quote from the book, and why:there were many great quotes in this book but my favourite was '' if you hit your funny bone, you will hear a joke within twenty-four hours. if you hit your head, you will cry''this was only one of the quotes i liked.something new i learnt from this book? i didn't really learn any facts or anything in this book, but while reading it you learn more about ellen and why she is the way se is, i learnt where she grew up, the school she went to, why she wanted to be a comedian and many other things about her and her familya character or setting in this book that was intersting?i found ellen intresting in this book, because this was writen before ellen was open about who is and just her jokes were just kind of different, i guess she was kind of different to how everyone know her now.

  • Ivy
    2019-02-19 18:04

    I wanted to know more about Ellen. I had a few good laughs throughout the story and there were some quotes that I related to. But I felt like the entire book was written as a joke. None of what was written was believable for the most part and it seemed like someone was just telling me a make believe story about a certain event. I wanted it to be more of something that taught me something about her and be something relatable instead of reading make believe stories about how she gives her neighborhood children (from five years old and up) alcohol while telling boring stories that are supposed to be funny. A little disappointed.

  • Rebecca
    2019-03-04 15:39

    I am a huge fan of ellen and was hoping the poor reviews were wrong. I admire ellen and she is my favourite comedian. However I struggled to get through this book. It is horribly boring. I really gave it a go, I got to the end when I really didn't even want to keep reading. The problem is, I think, her book material is written as a standup, relying heavily on expression, timing etc... It does NOT transfer well in written form. I regret spending the money on this book. I didn't even crack a smile, let alone laugh. Not humorous for me whatsoever :( very disappointed. Please save your money. If you really want to read it, borrow from a library. But its not worth the time imo.

  • Kailee
    2019-02-22 20:56

    As much as I love Ellen, I hated her book. It was incredibly boring, & not at all funny. It was like she tried way too hard to be funny, & the opposite came across. I almost stopped reading it halfway through, but I stuck it out because I like to finish what I start.

  • Akearney
    2019-03-14 14:49

    Yikes, most unfunny book by a comedian ever! Thank goodness for David Sedaris.

  • Go
    2019-02-28 15:57

    I like the occasional pointless book but it needs to have some entertainment value, this fell short. Too bad, because I like Ellen’s sense of humor. It seemed like she was trying too hard to be funny and it backfired. Towards the end of the book it got annoying as she kept going on about her contractual obligation to write at least 60,000 words for the book. If she would have made fun of life situations it would have worked better. Instead she kept making stuff up. In short—this was rambling nonsense.Excerpts:In mentioning the ¾” reclining seat on an airplane she commented how flight attendants are adamant about instructing the passengers to put it in its upright position for landing as if it will make a difference. “Because if we crash, the investigators are going to say, ‘Oh, that’s a shame, her seat was reclined ¾ inch. When will they learn? What was that—thirty thousand feet? She could have made that. Sheesh. If only she’d been upright.’ ”She claimed to have visited a psychic. Half the time she joked afterwards that she really didn’t do what she just said she did, so I don’t know if any of this was to be believed. “I asked him about my past lives, hoping that I had been Cleopatra or, at the very least, someone who once had lunch with Cleopatra. He told me that once I had been a monkey, but that in my last life I was a spring roll at a Chinese restaurant. Now that’s ridiculous, even though it does explain a recurring nightmare where I’m held upside down over a dish of hot mustard sauce.”She spoke about the downside of her hospital visit (not that there ever really is an upside). “Another thing that’s awful is the gown they make you wear. It doesn’t fit right, and it’s completely open in the back, leaving exposed an area of my body that I traditionally keep covered. You walk down the hall and it’s just flap, flap, flapping in the breeze—the gown, that is, the part of my body I traditionally keep covered wasn’t flap, flap, flapping…I think Cher wore one to the Oscars last year.”There was an absurd bit about animal testing for the sake of cosmetics and then it went into them taking the SATs. Utter nonsense that was not even funny. Maybe it would be different in person depending on the comedic delivery. This didn’t do it for me. She had a section about cures for ailments which had nothing to do with anything, much like the rest of the book. Her cure for the hiccups was to wear a Viking helmet and snowshoes while watching reruns of “Dynasty.” That’s as funny as it got people.

  • Janus the Erudite Artist
    2019-03-07 21:06

    I had a blast with reading Seriously... I’m Kidding, which is Ellen’s third book, but I didn’t find My Point... and I Do Have One as fun. Both books have pretty much the same idea and My Point... and I Do Have One even has these cute doodles in them. Sadly it didn’t make the book funnier. I love Ellen and the way she makes people laugh with just a few words. But the focus of each chapter in this book kind of gets lost whenever she shifts suddenly to an off topic subject (a problem I didn’t have with Seriously... I’m Kidding). It was a little confusing sometimes. Also, most of the really funny parts where in the chapters near the end of the book. I guess since this was written years ago (90s), it may have been in a different form of humor (if you ask me how or in what form exactly, I don’t know. I’m trying to figure that out too) that I don’t find amusing. Or maybe it lacks the vocal way of Ellen’s spiel-delivery (but then again I read Seriously... I’m Kidding with the same omission but I still found it funny). Whatever the reason, it wasn’t as funny as I expected.For more of my reviews, please visit my blog: The Blair Book Project @ www.theblairbookproject.blogspot.com

  • Erin
    2019-03-16 17:59

    Some comics have a sense of humor that easily translates to ink and paper. Unfortunately, I think Ellen's genius loses a lot when you can't see what she's doing. Her facial expressions, body language, and mastery of the dramatic pause just don't come through in My Point ... And I Do Have One.Having seen some of Ellen's standup acts, the sections discussing weird bathroom behaviors and airplane experiences were the funniest because I could envision her actions. The parts about meeting her publisher's word count and making the lawyers happy were amusing, but not up to her standard. I thought this book would be a little bit more about her life than just a written routine -- I would love to know more about her childhood in Louisiana and what it was like being raised as a Christian Scientist.She's still one of my favorite comedians, but I would recommend watching her act instead of reading it.

  • Alex
    2019-03-15 18:50

    I've always thought Ellen was pretty funny and I was looking for a laugh, so I picked this up. I've heard her later books are great and much better, but I have this thing about having to start from the beginning with books. Since this was her first published book, I had to start here.I did laugh a few times, but overall this was just annoying to read. She bounced around from one mindless rambling thought to the next, and it just became a little grating. From the middle of the book and on, she reminds you constantly that she was under contractual obligation to write 60,000 words, and so she just starts writing random things like "blah blah blah". I wish I was kidding. Overall, this had its funny points but was ultimately disappointing. I see tons of negative reviews on this but positive reviews on her later works, so I will still read those when I need a good laugh again.

  • Joseph Hare
    2019-03-13 18:01

    I'm really surprised by how low this is rated on Goodreads, people do not like this book. I think possibly part of the problem is that these days people are of course familiar with Ellen Degeneres from her talk show, and although she's retained a similar style of humour throughout her years as a comedian, this book was written before her talk-show days and is more like a long, written-out standup act, which was what she did at the time. You should see her perform stand-up before you read this book, otherwise the whole thing will probably seem a bit calamitous. I really enjoyed it, I like that there was never a focus and she never really cared about telling her life story, she just wanted to write some jokes and make a fun book to read. A lot of it is non-sequitur, and just plain goofy. Some people like that, some people don't.

  • Victoria
    2019-03-12 22:44

    I was expecting this book to tell me more about Ellen herself and her life. Instead it was just like one long joke - "I did this...ok, only joking, no I never" that sort of thing. I got boring. I didn't discover anything new about Ellen. The only redeeming feature was that it was over relatively quickly. Had it been any longer, I doubt I would have finished it.

  • Hannah ♡
    2019-03-09 18:06

    a good book to read from when you had a bad day.

  • Jennifer
    2019-03-02 18:59

    Another fun, light-hearted read from Ellen! Not quite as funny as 'Seriously... I'm Kidding' but still worth a read if you are a fan of Ellen.

  • Amy P.
    2019-03-13 20:02

    This book was obviously still trying to hide Ellen's Sexuality. I thought this was supposed to be a biography, but it was a poorly written book with some funny anecdotes thrown in.

  • Ivan Magnus
    2019-03-10 17:02

    “If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should use prisoners who have been convicted of murder or rape instead. So, rather than seeing if perfume irritates a bunny rabbit's eyes, they should throw it in Charles Manson's eyes and ask him if it hurts.” Already read Ellen's other books and thought they were funny but this is my favorite. I think this book is hilarious and also relevant, (don't know why) it surprised me that I read about, like, how women should look "according to society", animal cruelty (like Ellen, I also don't get why people go hunting, just WHY?) and people in general. I really enjoyed this, it made me laugh so hard/loud and it has been a while since I read a book that did that.

  • Indah Threez Lestari
    2019-03-01 14:57

    126 - 2017

  • Pepper
    2019-03-03 18:42

    I love Ellen DeGeneres, I really do! However, I don't like this book. I guess I was expecting an autobiography, instead all I got was incoherent ramblings and nonsense. I love her standup comedy from the '80s, I even watched an episode here and there of her television show Ellen, & I adore her new Ellen DeGeneres show. (that is now in its 10th season!)Is her mind really this chaotic? I found myself really wanting to like this book, but in the end I didn't even want to finish it. After the first chapter I was hoping it would get better, but it never did, I didn't even laugh once!I was hoping the book would actually give an insight into how she thinks, her life, maybe even a little bit of real comedy. All I got was just fluff, I don't think she really even wanted to write this book. I realize this book was written in 1995, before she came out. Consequently it reflects that in some of the things she says, but I just didn't find it interesting. Maybe other people would like it, it's just not for me.

  • Amy Wilder
    2019-02-20 14:52

    The thing about Ellen is, she's really funny in a lightly self-deprecating way. She mocks herself for foibles like a fondness for kittens and an inability to manage gadgets. She doesn't go too deep or ask you to - but she does kind of give you that everybody's human so give yourself a break kind of glow.I breezed right through this, chuckling all the way, and I'm glad Ellen is out there, being a gay person whose persona is not all about being gay. She's like the Bill Cosby of gays. If Cosby said - my humor doesn't have to be in your face or angry or crass just because I'm black, and if definitely doesn't have to be about being black. Ellen said - my humor doesn't have to be in your face or sexual or crass just because I'm gay, and it doesn't have to be about being gay. I love both of them and I'm glad at the same time that they exist as part of a spectrum that includes Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock on the one hand and Margaret Cho, Rosie O'Donnell, and Eddie Izzard (yes I know he's not gay, he's a straight tranny but he's one of us, isn't he?) on the other.

  • Randy
    2019-03-15 21:05

    Probably one of the worse books I've ever read. It seems as though it was dictated from a stream of consciousness recording. The reader doesn't get a chance to really learn more about Ellen's point of view on anything as you can never know if she's telling the truth about anything. She makes is it obvious that she was required to write 60000 words so there are chapters of pure nonsense that are frustrating to read because its word garbage to eat up the required word quota. Too many topics covered and not in detail in the 211 pages of which 71 are either a chapter title page, a drawing, or blank. Read only if you want to feel like being an editor and have it submitted with pertinent, clarifying comedic changes because stand-up doesn't always translate well to the written page.

  • Tianna
    2019-02-23 21:43

    People have been telling me to read Ellen's books for years so I finally got around to reading one. I just...did not like this book as much as I wanted to. It was an easy read and when I did pick it up, I'd read a few chapters just during my lunch break. But I didn't really want to pick it up. It had funny moments, but it got a little annoying with all the talking in circles and taking segues that often weren't funny. I know some of the jokes would've worked better with Ellen herself reading them to me. Her facial expressions and delivery are what sells her jokes. I've heard better things about her next two books so I'm looking forward to giving those a shot.

  • Sarah
    2019-03-18 23:01

    I know that Ellen in general has a very non sequitur type of humor in which she ping pongs from one topic to another. Unfortunately, in a book that type of popcorn thinking drives me mad. I expected there to be some cohesion to the chapters, something that tied them together, and as far as I could tell by about halfway in there wasn't anything of the sort. On top of that I didn't find the chapters themselves particularly funny. It's a shame really since I'm fond of Ellen, just not, I've found, of her writing style.

  • Devin
    2019-03-08 15:52

    I know I am echoing many of the other reviews when I say simply that this book fell short of expectation. Though I think some of the parts mentioning the contract stipulated word limit were meant to be humorous, the motif appeared often enough to make me think that Ellen actually did have trouble hitting her word limit and thus felt the need to go on long and relatively un-funny tangents. Disappointed.

  • Emily
    2019-02-21 15:03

    I don't agree with the title...she doesn't have a point! The irony is that I normally love the randomness of Ellen's comedy; however, I think this book is a little too random. There are a couple of funny parts but overall it feels like she is just trying to fill space or even trying too hard to be funny.

  • Audrey
    2019-02-27 19:43

    Ellen has an amazing perspective and gift for sharing the laughter. I asked my grandma rose for this book for a Christmas gift, but she didn't want to buy it for me because Ellen is gay...I didn't really understand that and I remember thinking, you just don't get it, what does gay have to do with it anyway?I was a junior in high school at the time and I still love Ellen!

  • Michelle T.
    2019-02-22 16:40

    Ellen is awesome, I have always considered her as a good person on what she shows on t. v., she is so sincerred and the book as you read it you just can imagine her doing every single one of the things... Hilarious!!! A most read. Can wait to read the next one. ♥♥♥